SCENE 2

(A backstage area at a working men's club as each contestant arrives and looks for a place to put their stuff. One or two moments of one-upmanship should occur as this happens. There are only a limited number of places and so each character must establish their own space as they go.)

Rod: Okay! Just come on through and find somewhere to drop your gear. Hang on to any sheet music as Bobby and the band will want it soon enough. Now do you know the ropes? Did you get the stuff we sent out? That should answer any questions you have. There's only one changing room so there’s no room for shrinking violets. You get your kit off regardless of who's in here. You don't go out front before your spot and its contestants only round the back here, otherwise we'll have the world and his wife trying to nobble the opposition, or cop a flash. Come on, hurry up, I haven't got all day, get your stuff in here.

(He turns around but no-one is there) Oh for God's sake, where is she?

Carol: Sorry, its just I'm waiting for somebody else. See, I'm a group. I mean I'm in a group. They're not here yet then?

Rod: Would "they" be the ones who are currently hiding in the bog and told me not to tell you they're there?

Carol: Did they? Really?

Rod: I'm joking sweetheart, there's nobody here yet, you're the first. What group are you in then?

Carol: Wonderland - we're a cover group.

Rod: Who're you covering for then love?

Carol: No I mean we play cover versions...

Rod: I know! I'm only winding you up.(Aside)God, they've got no sense of humour these lot..... especially most of the so-called "comedians"! Don't worry sweetheart, you’ll feel better when a few of the others arrive. Just hang about here, they'll get here. (He leaves)

Carol: I am so glad we've all got to wear this, I wouldn't be seen dead in it if Maggie and Dave weren't wearing them too. Still, I probably wouldn't even be in this contest if it wasn't for Dave's enthusiasm and Maggie's arm-twisting. Might as well enjoy it now though eh? (Does a deep male voice)"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Death by Delight Club. I want you to give a big "delight-full" welcome... to Wonderland!

(She mimics the applause and looks into the full length mirror. Then in her own voice she says...)Thank you very much (Sings) "At first I was afraid, I was petrified, kept thinking I could never live without you by my side. But then I spent so many nights thinkin' how you did me wrong and I grew strong, I learned how to get along and so you're back from outer space. I just walked in to find you here with that sad look up on your face. I should have changed that stupid lock, I should have made you leave your key, if I'd known for just one second, you'd be back to bother me. Go on now go walk out the door! Just turn around now cause your not welcome anymore. Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye? Did I crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh no not I...".

(She spins around to see Jasmine Miranda)I... I... uh I don't suppose you know where the ladies' is do you? (She doesn't wait for a reply, she picks up a purse and almost runs past Jasmine)

Jasmine: That was really good.... I thought... oh okay. Sorry!

Angie: Right Princess, where's your mirror then?

Jasmine: You know I don't get a mirror to myself, we went through all this last year. And I don't think you're supposed to be back here again, after last year...

Angie: Oh I'm sure they didn't mean me in that sheet. I only gave you moral support didn't I?

Jasmine: Mum, You, tripped up that bloke who sang like Michael Bolton as he walked on stage and you sewed up that girl's sleeves on her costume!

Angie: I was trying to repair it for her that's all!

Jasmine: Mum, there was nothing wrong with her dress. She'd left it on the back of the chair while she went out front to have a drink with her boyfriend!

Angie: Well, she shouldn't have been drinking should she? A professional would've been round here getting mentally prepared like us.

Jasmine: You were just getting mental round the back. What about that vodka you slipped into Judy C's orange juice when she wasn't looking?

Angie: Well, you've only got yourself to blame that she didn't drink it. Fancy knocking it over like that!

Jasmine: Mum! It would have knocked her out if I hadn't!

Angie: Oh will you stop with calling me Mum? Its Angie when I'm acting as your manager and personal assistant.

Jasmine: Okay then 'Angie', but only if you promise to let me do it my way this time, I really don't need you to help.

Angie: Have it your way but I don't want tears all the way home like last time!

Jasmine: Mum! You were the one who was crying!

Carol: (Re-entering) Hi, sorry... have you seen Wonderland yet?

Angie: The name's Angie not "Alice"!

Carol: Oh no, I mean the band! Sorry.

Jasmine: Mum! Don't you think its about time you went to sit with the other managers "Angie"?

Angie: Alright, alright! Honestly, she's so talented the power goes to her head, just like Madonna! Harrr! Just going. You don't wear high heels do you?

Carol: No. Well, not high as such, not stilettos._

Angie: Pity! (she walks off planning Carol's downfall.)

Jasmine: Sorry about my "manager" she gets a little bit carried away - or at least she should be. I'm "Jasmine Miranda". Its my real name. My mum always wanted me to go into show business so she chose an exotic name. My friends call me Claire.

Carol: Carol. Claire's not exactly short for Jasmine is it?

Jasmine: Its what my dad wanted to christen me, my mum wouldn't do it but my dad always stuck with it. So did my friends, even the teachers managed it, except if my mum ever came to a parents' evening. I'm a secretary/receptionist for a plumber. We come here every year it keeps her happy. Its the only time I do this, but she still thinks I'm the next big thing about to be discovered! And she's determined to play the manager to the full for one night a year!