Voice Over: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Living Newspaper

The Living Newspaper

Voice Over: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Living Newspaper. Our aim is to inform, educate and entertain you. Ours is not a new idea, but we aim to take a sideways look at life in North East Lincolnshire, some of our tales are true, some may be fictional, others are as true as a Cutting Edge documentary on Channel 4. As the concept of a living newspaper may be new to you, we thought one or two of our regular features might be able to help you. Would you please welcome to our stage:

News (A news reporter with a serious disposition and dramatic voice)

Views (An apologetic, yet nosy type with binoculars)

Letters (A bookworm with a rather over-large alphabet or samples thereof)

Problem Page (An embarrassed, spotty youth)

Small Ads (Two small actresses who speak in unison)

TV (Quite literally a person with a TV on their head)

Sport (In full Grimsby Town kit)

and of course.....

Horoscopes (A voice devoid of a body which is accompanied by thunder and lightning, sounds distinctly like Mystic Meg)

Horo: And people in this audience will be lucky toooooo!

There is a loud bong a la News At Ten

News: The idea of the living newspaper emerged in America during the Great Depression. (Bong) Economic problems led to the closure of theatres and touring companies throughout the USA. (Bong) By 1932, only 32 legitimate theatre companies remained open on Broadway. (Bong) By 1937 actors could expect to be resting 47 weeks of the year. (Bong) The Depression ate deep into the theatrical community, affecting writers, directors, producers, technical staff, stagehands and many more. (Bong) The plight of the unemployed theatrical community was a matter of grave concern, the crumbling unions could offer no more relief to their members and it was felt that society had an obligation to the talents of the men and women in the arts as well as in the factories. (Bong) Look sound? Could you stop doing that its really starting to annoy me I’ve got an absolutely crushing headache coming on. Thanks, I say Views could you assist me I really don’t feel terribly well!

Sound: (Voice Off) (Bong) Sorry!

(Views pushes a chair under News, who collapses gratefully into it)

Views: At the request of no less than President Franklin D. Roosevelt himself, a national theatrical project was set up under the banner of the "Federal Theatre Project". The aim was to provide musical and dramatic entertainment for small and remote communities with an educational slant, thus providing work for the idle thespians. After all, unemployed actors were as hungry as anyone else. Quality was paramount, whether in farce or in Shakespeare. Every effort was made to encourage playwrights to draw upon the life around them and the rich seam of folk material within the USA.

Letters: Excuse me but somebody’s got something to say. (Clears throat and reads from a scroll) "Our whole emphasis in the theatre enterprises which we are about to undertake should be on re-thinking rather than remembering. The good old days may have been very good days indeed, but they are gone. New days are upon us and the plays that we do and the ways that we do them, should be informed by our consciousness of art and economics...

"We live in a changing world; man is whispering through space, soaring to the stars in ships, flinging miles of steel and glass into the air. Shall the theatre continue to huddle in the confines of a painted box set? The movies in their kaleidoscopic speed and juxtaposition of external objects and internal emotions are seeking to find visible and audible expression for the tempo and the psychology of our time. The stage too must experiment - with the relationship of men and women, with ideas, with speech and rhythm forms, with dance and movement, with colour and light - or it must and should become a museum product.

"In an age of terrific implications as to wealth and poverty, as to the function of government, as to peace and war, as to the relation of the artist to all these forces, the theatre must grow up. The theatre must become conscious of the implications of the changing social order, or the changing social order will ignore, and rightly so, the implications of the theatre."

Sport: You’re having a laugh aint you? What the ‘ell are you on about?

Letters: Sorry, you know me, not one to speak my own mind! That’s not my idea, that was from Hallie Flanagan, (Mrs.), director of the Federal Theatre Project. 1935

Small Ads: One of the greatest successes of the FTP was the Living Newspaper. This was an attempt to dramatise actual events from newspaper articles that were saved by staff.

Views: It was that work, the Living Newspapers that inspired us to create for you a living paper drawing upon the rich seam of local issues tonight. "New Labour: New Deal!"

Small Ads: Their productions were deeply political and often linked by a theme - like "Power" a play described as "an exciting dramatisation of the development and use of electric energy in the USA."

Sport: Yeah, but did it review the footie?

News: Sorry, did I miss something about the Footsie?

Sport: Footie you plonker! Footie, the beautiful game!

TV: My friend, neither sport nor TV featured in the Living Newspapers!

Sport: Nice one! I’ll go home crack open a tinny, slob on the sofa sit back and watch Sky Sport. There’s a good match on tonight!

TV: You know how to hurt an old-fashioned, terrestrial television, don’t you?

Sport: Oh yeah, I know how to push all the right buttons!!!

Problem: Now come on you two, arguing is not the way to make progress. let’s sit down like mature adults and talk about it?

TV: You blame me don’t you? You think its my fault the BBC are showing Grimsby Reserves against Brigg Town on Match of the Day, don’t you?

Problem: Oh come on TV, give Sport a break, let’s go and find somewhere to talk this through.

(The three exit with Problem Page keeping them apart)

News: Oh I suppose its me again isn’t it? (Bong) Oww! Will you stop doing that?

Sound: (Off) Sorry!

News: We decided to create our own living newspaper for you tonight, so we have created the Grimsby Centennial; a local paper with a sense of history.

Views: any similarity between this and any other local newspaper or journal is purely coincidental. Even if it does sound a little familiar.

Small Ads: Do the headlines! Do the headlines!

News: There’s plenty of time for that, everyone will get to show their bit.

Sport: (re-entering) Even the footie?

News: Even a backpage boy like you!

(The whole group suddenly go into a handclap/ chant which segues into "Sing When We’re Fishing" led by Sport. This finishes as quickly as it starts.)

Sport: Right! Well!! I’m happy now!

News: I think the Small Ads do have a point though, we should go to the main business of the night - our headlines.

(The Small Ads hand a sheet to News and retire rapidly giggling. On a screen we see their first headline projected onto a screen behind News, who reads each headline a few seconds after the audience have read each one)

"British Left Waffles on Falkland Isles"

"Drunk Gets Six Months In Violin Case"

"Children Make Nutritious Snacks"

"Local School Dropouts Cut In Half"

"Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted"

"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery: Hundreds Dead"

(During this the Small Ads laugh furiously as news gets more and more agitated at the levity)

News: And finally, sport....

"Shot Off Woman’s Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66"

News: Right that’s it if you’re going to laugh I’m off! I’ll be back later if I feel like it. Roll the presses!!!

(The Group form a giant machine, to symbolise the presses rolling into action and the lights fade to end of scene with the sound of the printing presses.)