Andy's World
The Basement
By Andy Evans
The scene is a messy room full of junk. There are tea chests, boxes and the sort of junk you would expect to find in an attic or a basement. This is actually the basement of an old house.
There is one door and no windows. We hear the sounds of a brass band playing a traditional tune. This fades and segues into the sounds of children playing. We hear the voice of a girl,
we do not see her.
Samantha: Okay Simon, its your turn to hide and then I have to find you....
Simon: Well cover your eyes then, stop cheating!
Samantha: I�m not looking! I�m counting... Are you going?
Simon: To five hundred remember? No cheating and doing it in twenties though, you�ve got to give me a fair chance...
Samantha: I�m up to thirty... you�d better run!
Simon: Cheat!
Samantha: Fifty... Go!!!
(We hear him run off)
Samantha: Sixty, eighty, a hundred, one twenty, one forty, one sixty, one eighty, two hundred....
(The door opens and Simon hurries in looking for somewhere to hide)
Simon: She is such a cheat it was supposed to be tens not twenties! Where can I hide? I�d better shut the door or she�ll know I�m here...
(He quietly closes the door)
Samantha: Three sixty, three eighty, four hundred.....
Simon: Behind this case! (He hides) No, she�ll look here straight away! Under those blankets! That�s it!
Samantha: four sixty, four eighty, five hundred!!! Coming ready or not!
(Simon tries to hide himself under the pile of blankets. There is a pause as we wait to see what will happen next.)
Samantha: Simon? Are you there? I�m going to find you! You can run but you can�t hide! I�m coming upstairs! I know you�ll be up there....
Simon: (Giggling) Upstairs! She is SSSOOOO cold! She�ll never find me if she looks up there! If she starts up there she�ll be ages. Why doesn�t she start at the bottom and work her way up? I would! But
then she is stupid.
Stupid and rubbish at hide and seek!
It smells a bit down here though! Damp. That�s it. Basements always smell damp. Still I won�t be here too long, she never does anything in order. She�ll get bored after one room up there and come down,
maybe even come down here!
(We hear footsteps on the stairs and somebody trying the door handle of the basement)
Simon: OOPS! Better keep still!
(The door opens and a figure enters, shutting the door behind it. The figure moves around the basement, but it isn�t Samantha it is a boy, he�s dressed in slightly old fashioned and grubby
clothes. He too is looking for somewhere to hide. He moves behind the tea chest that Simon thought about hiding behind)
Joe: I hope he doesn�t know I�ve sneaked in here. If he realises and finds me he�ll take the belt to me I know it!
(Simon - bemused - looks out from under the blankets)
Simon: Samantha?
(Joe jumps out of his skin)
Joe: Flippin� eck! Who�s there? Who is it?
(Simon comes out of his hiding place and faces Joe)
Simon: I�m Simon. What are you doing here? Who are you?
Joe: I could ask you the same thing!
Simon: We�re staying here with my uncle. This is his house. So what are you doing here.
Joe: You�re starting to scare me, I don�t know owt about young guests here!
Simon: Tell me who you are right now!
Joe: Joseph Quinn - "Bootstraps".
Simon: That�s a weird name!
Joe: Oh no Bootstraps is me nickname...
Simon: Why are you here? What are you doing?
Joe: I ran into this house to hide...
Simon: Why? Who are you hiding from?
Joe: Mr. Lancaster.
Simon: Who�s Mr. Lancaster?
Joe: He�s the landlord�s man.
Simon: Why is he after you?
Joe: Because he knows I got paid today and he�s after me money and if he doesn�t get paid he�s going to thrash me!
Simon: How did you get in the house?
Joe: It were the first unlocked door I found when I saw him and ran!
Simon: Where is he now?
Joe: I don�t know I didn�t look back, he�s a right brute he�ll tan my hide.
Simon: Why did you get paid today?
Joe: Coz its Thursday and we always get paid on a Thursday!
Simon: What are you a paper boy?
Joe: Are you soft or summat? I work at the pit!
Simon: The pit? What do you mean?
Joe: The coal mine. I work at the pit.
Simon: But you�re too young to work at the pit and anyway its closed down!
Joe: You are soft in the head! Pit doesn�t close, it works shifts. Only closes for high days and holidays.
Simon: Right, now I know you�re up to no good! I�m going to call my uncle!
(Simon goes over to the door and tries to get out, but its locked)
Simon: Locked?!!! You locked us in! Give me the key now!
Joe: I didn�t I swear! I haven�t got a key! I just pulled it shut behind me...
Simon: I don�t believe you. This door is locked.
Joe: Let me have a look...
(Joe attempts to open the door but its stays shut)
Simon: I don�t know why you did that you know its locked, you locked it!!
Joe: I didn�t I promise!
Simon: I�m going to call for help Samantha�s looking for me anyway and she�ll get our uncle! You should save yourself the trouble and give me the key now!
Joe: But I swear...
Simon: You�ll get into real trouble when the police come. I bet you�re just a burglar!
Joe: I promise I�m just hiding from Mr. Lancaster...
Simon: (Banging the door) Sammy? SAMMY? I�m down here! Samantha, get Uncle Bob.
(There is no response to the banging and shouting)
Simon: SAMMY!!!! I�m down here! Get yourself down to the basement now and let me out!!! I�m not playing anymore! SAMMY!!!!
Joe: Well, she must have heard that, that�s enough to wake the dead!
Simon: She went upstairs to find me. She probably can�t hear me. She could be at the back of the house...
Joe: Honest Simon, I didn�t lock us in. Perhaps the door just got jammed. If we both try it might open?
Simon: I don�t believe you, but let�s try...
(They try together but do not succeed. They sit down exhausted.)
Joe: I think you should try again, shouting I mean...
Simon: SAMMMMYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!
(Nothing)
Joe: Why did you think the pit was closed down?
Simon: Because it is.
Joe: I told you its shift work...
Simon: The pit closed down three years ago. Uncle Bob told me. He used to work in the offices there.
Joe: Don�t be so soft lad, I was there this morning collecting me wages!
Simon: You don�t work down the pit!
Joe: I didn�t say I worked down the pit. I said I worked at the pit.
Simon: That�s the same thing!
Joe: I work up top, helping to shift the coal when they send it up.
Simon: That�s just it... Nobody sends the coal up. There�s nobody working there. No miners nobody so you might as well stop lying!
Joe: Just my luck, I run away from one lunatic just to get locked in with another nutter.
Simon: Oi!
Joe: The pit closed! No miners! You think I�d believe you? I know what I�ve seen with me own eyes. And if its closed how do you explain this.....?
(Joe pulls out some coins, Simon looks at them)
Simon: They�re grubby old coins! So what?
Joe: That�s my wages. They may be grubby but they�ll help me mother pay the rent on the cottage.
Simon: Are they valuable?
Joe: What?
Simon: Old coins are valuable sometimes if they�re rare.
Joe: Why do you keep calling them old? I told you they�re just a bit mucky!
Simon: Oh sure and you�ll be telling me next that this isn�t a 50p piece
(He takes a 50p from his pocket)
Joe: What on Earth is that thing? Its a funny shape! A giant silver thruppence!
Simon: A what?
Joe: A thruppence! Don�t you know what a thruppence is?
Simon: Is it a local term for money?
Joe: I don�t know, its a thruppence!
Simon: Try the door again. I�ll call Sammy again.
(He tries to no avail)
Joe: What�s all this stuff in these boxes then?
Simon: I think it belongs to Uncle Bob. He did say that it was here when he moved in and he just put it down here out of the way... I don�t know what it is, just old rubbish I suppose.
Joe: Well, it doesn�t look like rubbish to me. It full of stuff I could use. Look, these boots...
Simon: What those old things?
Joe: Do you know how much these cost? I�d need to work a few months to afford a decent pair like this!
Simon: Or you could just walk into Oxfam or a car boot sale!
Joe: A what?
Simon: A car boot sale!
Joe: What�s that?
Simon: Oh come on! You know - like a jumble sale!
Joe: Do you think your uncle would mind if I tried them on? I mean if he thinks they�re just rubbish he doesn�t want?
Simon: Well, I suppose not.... but they�re not exactly Nike trainers!
Joe: You say some right funny things! Trainers?
Simon: Yeah, you know.... "Just do it!"
Joe: (Confused) Alright I will! (Tries on the boots) Grand! I�ll grow into them. I can always stuff them with newspaper for now!
Simon: There�s all sorts of stuff in here. Look an old lamp!
Joe: By 'eck! That�s grand! They couldn't see a thing underground without these little beauties! They made the rock face sparklr like stars in the night sky down there! Is your uncle a rich man?
Simon: No, why?
Joe: He can�t think all this is rubbish!
Simon: Well, maybe he�d re-cycle it?
Joe: Cycle? He�s got a bike?
Simon: No, re-cycle. You know use it again for something else.
Joe: There�s men down that pit who�d find good use for this stuff...
Simon: Can I ask you something?
Joe: Please do.
Simon: Why�s your nickname "Bootstraps"?
Joe: Because I�m just a nipper, and after my father died from the rock fall I�ve had to look out for my mother and the three babies. The men at the mine said I�ve pulled myself up by my bootstraps. So that�s
what they call me.
Simon: Your father died? I�m sorry.
Joe: Five years ago. But its alright now, we all have to get on with living I suppose.
Simon: But you couldn�t have been very old then? What about school? I mean you can�t work. You�re too young.
Joe: Well, too young to work at the pit face but not too young to work up top.
Simon: Children used to work down the mines about a hundred and fifty years ago though didn�t they?
Joe: I don�t think it was so long ago, but they used to, yes.
Simon: What did they do? Did they dig the coal?
Joe: I think they were too small for that. No, I think they just used to crawl around underground pulling the trolleys of coal where the ponies couldn�t go.
Simon: That�s right they used ponies too. But there was an outcry over the use of women and children in Victorian times. I think they made it illegal to employ them.
Joe: Well, I work on the heap. Its the landing stage where the coals come up from the pit. The coals go into a tippler and then they�re emptied out up top and we have to sort the coal from the plain old rock.
Make sure its clean coal.
Simon: And that�s what you claim you do?
Joe: No "claim" about it, I do it! Well, I do other little jobs too. I gather up all the picks and drills and suchlike, you know when they�re just blunted and don�t work. Then I get a barrow and take them over to the blacksmith�s shop. He sharpens them up for us. But when I�m fourteen, I�ll be able to work at the pit face. Down below. I�ll be working the trap doors to make it easier to get through. That�s how they start you of you know.
Simon: Doesn�t the thought of it scare you? Working down below? I mean what if there�s rats or mice or stuff?
Joe: Well of course there�s stuff like that. They say the mice run about in and out of your clothes while you�re down there! That�s why we keep so many cats about the place.
Simon: What�s this then? (Simon reaches into the crate and takes out a pick which is not attached to a shaft)
Joe: Doesn�t thou know that?
Simon: Well of course.....
Joe: That�s a pick head. Needs to go to the blacksmith�s by the look of it. Needs a decent handle too!
Simon: Look a helmet! (He takes out a helmet and puts it on)
Joe: You wouldn�t have such a fancy hat down below.
Simon: Don�t be so silly, of course you�d wear a helmet!
Joe: You don�t know much about mining do you! Its right tight down there. They tell you to wear it but you only do it if you can. You don�t wear anything as gets in your way of swinging at the face. You might just be there in shorts and your boots to get at the really tough rock!
Simon: But you need the helmet for safety!
Joe: What good will a tin hat really do if a tunnel collapses on top of your head?
Simon: Well, it�d protect your skull for one thing! And it would give you some light to work by.
Joe: You work in the tiniest of spaces sometimes, on your knees or sat down. Swinging away at the rock in the dark. Your lamp gives you enough light to see the shine of the black coal, glistening in front of you. You can feel the heat of your mate�s breath on the back of your neck. You�ll be like this....
(He sits down and ma kes himself as small as possible while he swings at the imaginary rock face)
Simon: That looks really uncomfortable!
Joe: Just you get down here, you�ll see...
(Simon gets down and follows Joe)
Joe: Now put the pick into your hands and imagine swinging that back and forth for a ten hour shift like that!
Simon: Gosh, that really hurts.
Joe: And you sweat! Your skin is like ebony when you come up at the end of the shift to the pit head baths, but you glisten with the sweat and the coal dust. Then there�s the cough...
Simon: The cough?
Joe: The dus t ge ts i nto y our lungs and you have to cough it up. You just have to work it out of your system, you know there are old miners who end up coughing up tar!
Simon: That�s gross! If its so bad why do you want to go down there?
Joe: Because mining�s in me blood isn�t it?
Simon: Why don�t you stay at school and get some good qualifications? Then get a decent job, in an office or something?
Joe: The likes of us don�t stay in school we go to work. That�s the way it is...
Simon: Look there�s a book in here! Its about mining! Do you want to read it?
Joe: Don�t be so soft! I can�t read a book!
Simon: I don�t think its very hard.
Joe: Well you read it to me then clever clogs!
Simon: Okay, let�s see there�s a poem here...
Joe: Oh no! Not poetry, d�you think I�m a jessie or something?
Simon: Hmm... its called "Mother wept, father sighed"
Mother wept, and father sighed;
With delight a-glow
Cried the lad, "To-morrow," cried,
"To pit I go."
Up and down the place he sped,-
Greeted old and young,
Far and wide the tidings spread,-
Clapt his hands and sung.
Came his cronies some to gaze
Wrapt in wonder; some
Free with counsel; some with praise;
Some with envy dumb.
"May he," many a gossip cried,
"Be from peril kept;"
Father hid his face and sighed,
Mother turned and wept.
Gosh that�s really sad! I didn�t think about that. His parents didn�t want him to follow in his father�s footsteps!
Joe: Not many do. But what choice is there? You need the money. That�s why his father sighed. but his mother would be afraid for him because its so dangerous. He might go down one day and never come back up. Never make it home. Its a chance they all have to take.
Simon: That is sad, really. There are lots of poems in here.
Joe: Are there any songs?
Simon: Songs?
Joe: You�re not that stupid surely? You do know what a song is don�t you?
Simon: Of course I do!
Joe: Well....?
Simon: No. I don�t think so. What kind of songs?
Joe: Oh, you know, the sort of thing we sing sometimes at the mine. The men sometimes sing them at the pub too after work...
Simon: Teach me one....
Joe: I can, if you can sing!
Simon: I can sing! I sing in the choir at school!
Joe: We�ve got a choir at our pit and a band.
Simon: A band? What kind?
Joe: A brass band, trumpets and the like. We love our music!
Simon: Will you teach me the song?
(Joe teaches Simon the miners� song)
Joe: Music�s very important to us at the pits. Keeps the spirits up when times are hard. Did you enjoy that?
Simon: It was great!
Joe: Look over here there�s a trumpet in this box, you know like I told you for the brass band.
Simon: Can you play?
Joe: No, I never had the time to learn. Give it to me though, I�ll have a go!
(He puts the trumpet to his lips and blows making a really awful noise)
Simon: My turn!!!
(He does the same. The two boys fall about laughing)
Joe: That was horrible! The pit band never sounded like that!
Simon: What do they sound like?
Joe: Magical! Its a grand sound, massive. It fills the air and makes you feel strong inside!
Simon: I�d love to hear it.
Joe: Do you think the trumpet is like a sea shell?
Simon: Sorry?
Joe: If you put a seashell to your ear you can hear the sound of the sea!
Simon: And you think if I put the trumpet to my ear I�ll hear brass band? (He does it)
Joe: HA HA HA!!!
Simon: What?
Joe: You look so daft! I was only joking!
Simon: That�s rotten!
Joe: But you should hear the pit band. They are fantastic.
(They both pause and we hear the strains of a pit band playing. It builds and they listen to the band.)
Simon: I can just imagine it! I really would love to see them!
Joe: Will you read me another poem?
Simon: If you want let me just see what it says here..... okay. This is called "High Summer On The Mountains". I think its written by a Welsh miner....
High summer on the mountains
And on the clover leas,
And on the local sidings,
and on the rhubarb leaves.
Brass bands in all the valleys
Blaring defiant tunes,
Crowds, acclaiming carnival,
Prize pigs and wooden spoons.
Dust on shabby hedgerows
Behind the colliery wall,
Dust on the rail and girder
And tram and prop and all.
High summer on the slag heaps
And on polluted streams,
And old men in the morning
Telling the town their dreams.
Have you ever tried to write any poetry?
Joe: Don�t be soft! I told you I can�t read properly how can I write poetry?
Simon: I�m sorry I didn�t mean to insult you!
Joe: Where�s your sister? She should have come to look for us by now!
Simon: I�d forgotten! (He goes over to the door and bangs on it) Samantha!!!!! Come on this isn�t funny now! We�re stuck in here! Will you come down here please, We�re in the basement!!!!
Samantha??? SAMMMYYY!!!!
Joe: How can anyone not hear that row?
Simon: I don�t like this. Someone should be able to hear us up there. We�ve made enough noise!
Joe: How long do you think it will be before they miss you and come down here?
Simon: Well, Samantha knows I�m missing because we�re playing hide and seek! She�s seeking me!
Joe: Do you think Mr Lancaster could be up there? He could have got Samantha!
Simon: Who is Mr Lancaster exactly?
Joe: He�s the landlord�s man. A right rough �un. He collects the rent for the landlord and if you can�t afford it, he takes it out on your face!
Simon: That�s brutal!
Joe: He�s a brute alright! He�s supposed to have put somebody in hospital with broken bones and a smashed face simply because he was late by one day with his rent!
Simon: Didn�t anyone tell the police?
Joe: He�s a big, big man with hands like shovels and a face like rock. He puts the rent up without telling the landlord I think he pockets the rest for himself.
Simon: Couldn�t you tell the landlord?
Joe: Do you honestly think he�d believe a little mine rat like me? Mr Lancaster would be after me like a shot if he thought I tried to tell the landlord. I�d be underground, but I wouldn�t be mining! I�d be six
feet under!
Simon: It must be getting late now, but my watch seems to have stopped I must have banged it on something!
Joe: Me mum�ll be wondering where I am too!
Simon: I suppose that we�ll have to wait a bit longer to see who finds us.... You don�t really think Mr Lancaster could be up there do you?
Joe: Well, once that door opens I�m out of here like a rat up a drainpipe. I�m not stopping to see who it was!
Simon: I�m going to sit down for a bit. I�m getting rather tired now.....
Joe: Well, it must be pretty late and I have to start work at 4 o�clock.
Simon: In the morning?
Joe: Of course in the morning! What do you think I do?
Simon: Its just that I thought... well, aren�t there laws to stop children working so early?
Joe: I may be young but I�m no kid alright?!!!
Simon: Look I didn�t mean anything by it! I�m just tired. Here, you can have these blankets.
(The two boys settle down and fall asleep - blackout - we hear some gentle brass band music drifting across the stage to mark the passage of time. The lights come up Simon is still under the blankets, but Joe has gone. Simon wakes up and looks around)
Simon: Joseph? Bootstraps??? Where are you?
(He looks under the blankets and tries the door - it is still locked. He looks at the various artefacts and picks up each one, placing them back in the box. They are all still there except the
boots, Joe�s old pair remain)
Simon: I don�t understand. He can�t just disappear from inside a locked room! And I can�t have dreamed it, these are his shoes!
Maybe he did lock us in after all and he had the key but he kept us locked in until I fell asleep?
That must be the answer! But why did he leave me locked in? (Looks for the time) Oh blast! This stupid watch still won�t work!
I guess I should put these blankets tidy or Uncle Bob will have my guts for garters!
(As he moves the blankets he sees a photo in a frame. It is very old and sepia toned. He wipes the dirt off it and reads)
"The pit head boys 1910". Gosh that�s a long time ago. I don�t remember seeing this last night though? Perhaps Bootstraps was in the way! Its very dirty! (He wipes it clear and looks at it carefully.
His face registers surprise)
Joseph?!! That�s you isn�t it! At the front of the picture! It is you, those are Uncle Bob�s boots! I don�t understand?
How can that be. This says 1910 and this is 1999! (Looks at his watch and says the current month) ..... 1999 to be precise! What do you know the watch just started working again!
Samantha: (Voice) Alright Simon, I know you�re not upstairs so I�m coming to get you if you�re in the basement I�ve caught you and its only taken me ten minutes!
Simon: Ten minutes but that�s.... that�s.... that�s a record. For Samantha!
(He tries the door and it opens with no difficulty)
Simon: Okay Sammy, you win I give up! I�m coming upstairs!
(Blackout - The End)
For the curtain call Simon and Joe come back on and lead the audience in the singing of the miners� song.